The following is an excerpt from an article by Jennie Allen. Read the full article by clicking here.
COUNSELING IS GAME CHANGING.
Here is why…
1. We all need translators sometimes to really hear ourselves or the other person.
2. We all need to hear the truth about ourselves in a safe environment.
3. We all need space to sort out how we feel or what we need.
4. We all need help at times applying the truth of God’s Word into real life.
If you are still reading this and you aren’t married, I want to justify the title of this blog for you… I said “everyone” and yes I mean you too. I work at the IF:Gathering offices with mostly women who are unmarried. Many of them are in or have done counseling and have experienced more of God and more freedom as they have processed their pasts and their futures with a third party. While this post is focused on marriage- I just want you to also consider how a wise third party could affect your life in the same way.
So Jennie, do you really believe everyone needs a counselor? Yes I do. Here are some thoughts as you consider it:
1. Counseling only works if it works. It contains no magic…it takes two people fully committed to reconciling the relationship no matter the cost.
2. Start with your church– Everyone needs a counselor and some of you need to pay for it. And some of you don’t. Find a pastor, mentor, older couple but certainly some problems need professional help. Talk to the elders or your small group leaders to decide who might be a good fit.
3. Find counsel from a Christian perspective, because we know that ultimately our souls and deepest relationships were created by God and can only be sustained and healed through Christ.
4. Give Counselors a chance. Know that your first 3-4 sessions with a counselor will be he or she asking questions to actually get to know you and your spouse well enough to actually understand what is going on. In this time you will for sure wonder if you are wasting your money, especially if you just want the fire put out.
5. No counselor is perfect. And it may take meeting several before you find the right fit. Any outside advice you receive must be Scriptural and processed in the context of your community.
Tim Keller defines wisdom as the competency to deal with the complex realities of life. And sometimes we need the humility to say that we do not possess all wisdom about all cirumstances- it is godly to lean on another’s wisdom.